He's Got Tails To Tell

re: Do you have an animal that can do art?

From: xxxxx xxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com>

To: James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net>

sounds good. keep me updated!
Laurie



On Sat, Jul 7, 2012 at 10:59 PM, James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net> wrote:

Hi, Laurie!

Thanks for writing back. I tried to shoot a video of Sarge, but he is camera shy. I could send you a headshot if you'd like.

I haven't given up yet, but he doesn't write on command, but only when the inspiration hits which, come to think of it, might not make him the best candidate for your event. I used to have a video up on YouTube, but it got taken down because the background music he chose "violated Katy Perry's copyrights."

Go figure.

If I can get Sarge on camera, I'll give you a shout. Thanks for your consideration!

— James.



re: Do you have an animal that can do art?
From: xxxxx xxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com>
To: James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net>

Do you have a video you can send?

Laurie



On Jul 7, 2012 6:09 PM, "James Sweater" <james.sweater@att.net> wrote:

Hi! My name is James Sweater.

I have dog who "thinks" he can write. He's a Cocker Spaniel named Sarge. He mostly does short stories, but they're *very* derivative and not original at all. The dialogue is pointless and goes on forever. His characters don't seem real. His spelling is awful. And almost all of his stories are about squirrels.

I guess I could bring him by if you want to read some of his stuff.

— James.

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Original ad:
Do you have an animal that can do art?
We are looking for acts to do art in between main stage acts at the Round Rock Chalk Walk. If you have an animal that can paint, draw, sing, or some other artistic talent, then drop us an email with details! This is a Great way to market your talents to thousands of people!

Race relations

Re: Wanted — boy's/gender neutral twin mattress/bed
From: X X Xxxxxxxxx <xxxxxx.xx@gmail.com>
To: James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net>

Thanks for your message, James. I bet my son would love it, but I suspect your bed is out of our price range - we were hoping to spend $75 max. It's not much, but I've always been amazed by how low Craigslist prices can go!

Hope you find Luke a non-scary bed soon!

Liz


On Jun 8, 2012, at 3:33 PM, James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net> wrote:

Hi!

I think I have just the bed you're looking for. My name is James Sweater and my second youngest, Luke, refuses to sleep in his racing car bed anymore, ever since he saw Dan Wheldon's fatal Indy crash last fall on TV. It is a twin bed.

The doors on the car/bedframe are actually drawers that pull out for storage. For a while, it seemed as if Lukey was getting over his trauma. Then, a few weeks ago, his older sister Becky hid in one of those drawers (they're quite large and should provide you with ample storage!) and made vrooming and squealing tire sounds just when he was falling asleep. She is a pistol. The bed frame is painted red like a race car and has checkerboard flag details.

The frame is decidedly masculine, but the mattress is a girl. Is that a problem?

Please let me know if you're interested and how much you are looking to pay. I am all about simple.

--James.

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I'm looking for a bed for my four year old son. Prefer a setup with some storage options (such as a daybed with room underneath, or trundle drawers). Also happy to consider a futon-type mattress. We are more value-conscious than dollar conscious - willing to spend a reasonable amount for quality and durability. Ideally, would like a metal or wood bed in red or neutral color (natural wood, white, silver). 


Please don't be flaky or try to sell me junk.... I am a busy professional and want to make a simple, straightforward transaction. We live in Southwest Austin, near Circle C, but can travel to pick up. Alternatively, willing to pay a fee for delivery.

Hay, you guys …

RE: Need 4 big guys to move hay bales tomorrow
From: Rebel Race <xxxxxxxxxx@rebelrace.com>
To: James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net>

James,
While I appreciate your interesting idea, and we'll be sure to credit you in the future if we use it, we have to stick with the pyramid for now as it's what we've advertised for the event.  Also, we have already hired our hay movers for the event.  Thanks you anyway for your fascinating email! In addition, feel free to come out to the event on Saturday just to have a good time... there will be live entertainment, the military will be out there with some neat equipment, food and beverage will be available for sale, and nothing is more amusing than watching thousands of people get wet and muddy.  Thanks again, sorry we couldn't use your idea.

Xxxx Xxxxxx
www.rebelrace.com

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: re: Need 4 big guys to move hay bales tomorrow
From: James Sweater <james.sweater@att.net>
Date: Tue, June 05, 2012 2:40 pm
To: xxxxxxxxxx@rebelrace.com

Good afternoon!

I just saw your ad on Craigslist and I felt obligated to respond.

My name is James Sweater and I was intrigued by your idea of building a pyramid out of hay for your muddy run event. It sounds like fun and I'd be happy to help out. I am a pretty big guy, at least width-wise, haha!

Anyway, I had an idea and I wanted to run it by you: Have you considered building a hay Sphinx instead of a hay pyramid? Don't get me wrong -- pyramids are cool. But Sphinxes are AWESOME! You know I'm right.

I'm pretty sure I could get out some graph paper tonight and figure out how to make a Sphinx out of 600 hay cubes if you're interested. Please let me know. I could bring my second oldest son Jake with me to help. He loves hay. I would split my $8 with him.

"I'm not in de Nile," (Get it? "denial?")
--James.

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Need 4 guys to move hay bales for most of the day tomorrow. Pay is $8 per hour by check at the end of the day. Start at 9 am. We are building a hay pyramid for mud run obstacle course. Not sure exactly how long it's going to take, but there are about 600 bales to move and stack.